Why hookups are good for youValentina Tudose
Dating apps have brought many changes to our ideas about dating and love. One such change is a shift of attitude about casual sex which is now literally at your fingertips. We’ve all at least considered meeting a Tinder match just because he’s hot and a girl has needs, right? And yet, so many women leave these encounters feeling bad about ‘hooking up’ and making a lot of judgements about themselves.
But are hookups really such a bad thing?
Here are 5 benefits of one-night stands that may surprise you:
- Get a confidence boost
We all want to get validation and appreciation from the people around us. Sometimes, there is nothing better than to meet someone who finds us attractive and fun to be with. When major chemistry plays with our senses, our body fills up with feel-good hormones and lots of good things happen. Add to that the freedom of letting go of expectations and just enjoy a good time (without worrying about what they might think in the morning).
- Explore your sexuality without fear of judgement
Sex with someone you‘re unlikely to see again is a great opportunity to really push your own limits. Might even go as far as to try things you’ve always been too shy to ask for in committed relationships, who knows! That’s because when we like someone, the stakes are higher and our fear of being judged or rejected is usually what’s stopping us from truly being ourselves. When all you need to care about is your own pleasure and enjoyment, it’s a great time to just go wild and kiss like nobody’s watching (because nobody is!). Do remember though that casual sex comes with health risks so make sure to always stay protected. You don’t want to taint the memory of a fun night with an unscheduled visit to the gyno!
- Learn that sex doesn’t equal love
Clearly, not everyone you meet is marriage material! (Yeah, weird this needs to be clearly stated but here we go). Casual dating is a great way to discover that you can totally get physical and have a great time without becoming attached. You certainly don’t want to be labelled a ‘drama queen’ who is needy, clingy and becomes obsessive about a guy. The more people you date, the more you learn to differentiate that feeling of sexual attraction (lust) from the other big L (love)
- Discover new pleasure zones
Each new partner we meet comes with a different experience of sex. This is an opportunity to give yourself permission to enjoy new positions or try something you’ve never done. If for no other reason than finding out how that might make you feel. If you’ve never known how to bring your sex toys into the bedroom out of worry the boyfriend’s ego might take a hit, a casual partner is more likely to welcome the addition and play along to give you a brand-new experience of pleasure.
- Become a better lover
I’m sure you heard that practice makes perfect. Hookups are wonderful opportunities for enhancing ones’ bedroom skills because each person that comes into our life is there to teach us something. In a one-night stand, expectations are low, and the sole purpose is fun, so exploration of new ways to please your partner can be an exciting way to make the experience memorable and make you a more adventurous and exciting lover.
Always remember though that for this experience to stay a fun lighthearted memory, you need to be very clear that this encounter is NOT about finding your next long-term partner and align your expectations accordingly. Most heartache comes from misinterpreting attraction and lust for love and connection (and sadly women are more likely to fall prey to that!).